Like your friend who says you buy expensive shoes because you have low self-esteem. Or your aunt who says you can’t keep a man because you have a fear of commitment. Well tell them to can it,tactfully. Here’s how according to Jan Yager, PhD and author of “When Friendship Hurts”. Dr. Yager says that people often don’t realize that when you open up, you’re not always looking for advice. Sometimes you just want to get stuff off your chest.

  • So, be direct. Tell your friend you just want to talk; you’re not expecting their feedback. Say, “I’m just sharing this with you so you know what’s going on.”
  • If you can’t stop the wanna-be Dr. Phil, listen to their opinion and then say this.  “I know you’re offering your opinion because you care about me, but I’d prefer to work through this on my own.”
  • And if they won’t stop – as a last ditch effort – say, “Please, just be my friend, listen to me, and accept me as I am.” Sometimes people aren’t even aware that what they’re saying is unwanted advice. And if they don’t wake up and stop analyzing you, you might need to find some new friends.