Let’s talk about regret. If you’ve ever made a bad decision or suffered an accident, regret has been your roommate, and not a good one. Regret accuses you of being stupid, puts you in a dark mood and changes you. You can make regret’s powerful energy healing instead of destructive. We got this advice from Oprah’s “O” magazine..
- By changing the way you tell the story of your past. If you’re thinking, “That shouldn’t have happened” or “I shouldn’t have done that” you’re locked in a struggle against reality. Because it did happen or you did do it. That’s reality and that’s unproductive regret and it’s an excuse to stay unhappy. Instead, if you’d rather be happy, stop with the “should haves.” Erase them from your mental story and move on.
- Grieving for what you’ve lost. Sorrow is a natural reaction to losing anything significant: a dream, an opportunity, a possession. Productive grief passes through you and feels horrible – but it’ll break down your sadness and anger. You’re finished grieving when you can see someone else gaining what you regret losing and feel only joy for them. Don’t stop there.
- Now you’re ready to reclaim whatever you’ve lost. No, it won’t be the same, but you can have the essence of it. So let’s say you regret losing the big swim meet that would have launched you into the Olympics. What’s the essence of that? Pride, accomplishment, excitement? Can you find those things in your career or something else?
- Okay, ready for the final step in getting past regret? Go towards love. You can’t regret anything you do out of pure love. So think of every choice you make from now on as, “Is this an act of love? Will this bring me joy?” Don’t make decisions based on fear, as in “I’m afraid to do that because it’s scary – or I’ll look stupid – or I may fail.” The path toward love may be scary, but you won’t regret it.