It'll stop you from procrastinating, complaining and feeling gypped when you're not nominated for sainthood-- The word is NO. And according to Duke Robinson, author of "Too Nice for You Own Good," it can free you from any obligation you don't want to do. You just have to be able to cough it up-- Robinson says you're not a bad person for saying no. But thinking you are is a symptom of "the disease to please." And saying YES when you need to say NO causes burnout. And ultimately, you do yourself and the person making the request a huge disservice because you're not functioning in a healthy frame of mind.
So here's a step-by-step guide on how to say NO - To your boss, your neighbor or even your best friend. We got this from Real Simple magazine.
- Dodge first then digest. Never answer in the moment, under pressure. Always say "Let me get back to you." This gives you time to weigh your options, and compose yourself before answering.
- Don't fall for flattery. If someone makes an appeal to your vanity "you're the only one I trust to do this!" beware. You might not notice that it's the wrong time of the wrong assignment for you. Remember that there are other trustworthy people out there who can handle the task.
And finally, in order to tell someone "no" and not feel bad about it, give yourself credit for being generous most of the time. You shouldn't beat yourself up for refusing a request when you've said yes a gazillion times before. You're entitled to some down-time, whether or not the other person realizes it.