According to Sears, discipline is about what you do with your child, not to your child. He says you need to adopt the "we" principle: "This is what we do, this is how we behave". This way, your child will learn what "good" behavior is all about.
In addition, Sears offers these alternatives to spanking:
- Take a break: Give your child a time-out. Call it "thinking time" or personalize it, as in "Tommy Time".
- Use the When...Then Technique: Instill the cause and effect of choices. For example, "When you pick up your toys, then we can go out and play."
If you'd like to go further, the name of the book again is The Successful Child by Dr. William Sears.