There's no way out of it.
But starting next year, there'll be a new timed writing section. And according to the test preparation pros at The Princeton Review, it's a good thing William Shakespeare didn't have to take it. They say that he wouldn't have been accepted into an Ivy League college based on his SAT writing score.
The folks at the Princeton review used Shakespeare's famous passage "All the world's a stage" from his play "As You Like It". And according to the grading scale on the test, he would've received a 2 out of a possible score of 6 on that piece of writing.
The SAT's grading criteria for this new written portion includes development of ideas, supporting examples, organization, word choice, and sentence structure. Along with Shakespeare, Ernest Hemingway and Gertrude Stein would have also done poorly. Hemingway would have scored 3 points, and Gertrude Stein would have received a measly 1 point. These numbers would've meant that Shakespeare would not have tested out of freshman English and Stein would have to take a remedial English class.
The Princeton's Review's report on all of this will be published in the March issue of the Atlantic Monthly.
And although these famous writers may have flunked, there is someone who came out with flying colors. A section of the infamous manifesto written by Una-bomber Ted Kaczynski was analyzed on the grading scale and received a perfect score. This is because it followed the highly formulaic requirements to a "T". Princeton Review founder John Katzman says this suggests that   when it comes to SAT writing standards - "following the rules" is more important than creativity.
To which I say: "Alas, poor world, what treasure hast thou lost!"