Think about it: Do you say, "I'm fine," when you're not--And do you promise to call, even if you're not going to? Even little lies create stress   which can lead to anxiety, depression, and guilt. So, here's how to be as honest as you can in a conversation. These tips are from psychotherapist Susan Campbell, author of Saying What's Real:
  • First, use the phrase "I want--" As in: "I want to go to the movies instead of the park." You may not get what you want--But if you don't ask, you definitely won't get your way.
  • Then, stay focused on your feelings--And use "I" statements like: "When you say things like that, I feel you're judging me." And if you're talking about someone else's emotions, make sure they know it's your interpretation--In other words, say "I imagine you feel sad."
  • And stop tripping over old emotions you still haven't faced up to. In other words, tell the person you have issues with that you'd like to clear the air and have an honest conversation, so your relationship can get stronger.
  • Another way to keep your conversations honest is: Ask yourself questions. Like, do you feel comfortable revealing your emotions to this person--If not, just say, "I'd really rather not talk about it right now." And change the subject.
  • Finally, think about this. Is now the right time and place for an honest discussion? If not, you still don't have to lie when a store clerk asks how you are--It's okay to say, "Getting by"-- Especially if there's a line waiting behind you. And with co-workers, you can say, "I'm still here." Or simply "It's nice of you to ask. So, how are you?"
If you'd like to go further, the book is called Saying What's Real: Seven Keys to Relationship Success by Susan Campbell.