Want a fairy tale marriage? Replace, “They lived happily ever after” with, “They FOUGHT happily ever after”. According to the new book Angry Divorcés Anonymous by Jim Bardot, the times that make or break a marriage are the times you DON’T see eye-to-eye. So, here are 3 rules for making sure your disagreements make your relationship stronger.
- It takes two people to create a solution. Marriages work best when both partners commit to trying to reach a solution. Think of a disagreement with your spouse as just another problem that needs your attention - like your car breaking down. That way, you’ll deal with unpleasant topics instead of avoiding them. Or getting overly emotional.
- Don’t attack your partner. Let’s say you need to agree on a budget. Phrases like, “you’re so selfish” won’t do you any favors. Focus on the topic. For example, “If we’re going to make ends meet, we’ll both need to give up something.”
- You can fight your way to a stronger marriage if you keep your disagreements to yourselves. Don’t fight in public or get family and friends to offer their opinion. Airing private matters sends the message you don’t care about your spouse’s feelings and creates distance. No one’s suggesting you don’t get advice from people you trust or vent to your friends. Just take care not to embarrass your spouse. Ready to learn more? Check out Angry Divorcés Anonymous by Jim Bardot.