But when it becomes intense and irrational, that's when you run into trouble.
According to clinical psychologist Ayala M. Pines, jealousy happens when we think there's a threat of losing something we have. It's not the same as envy, which is wanting what someone else has. Jealousy in a relationship always involves two things: a fear of loss - and three people.
And in relationships where these feelings are mild and occasional, it's healthy - because it reminds the couple not to take each other for granted. But when these feelings are blown out of proportion, it can ruin a relationship. For example, just because your spouse dances with your best friend at a wedding reception, that doesn't mean they're going to run off to the Bahamas together.
So here are 3 ways to get over your jealous nature, before you drive yourself crazy. We got these from BBC News online:
Give yourself a reality check. Take a good look at the things that trigger your jealousy and ask yourself how realistic the threat is, What evidence do you have that your relationship is in danger? And is your behavior actually making the situation worse?
Use positive self-talk. When you start feeling the pangs of jealousy, remind yourself that your partner loves you, is committed to you and respects you. Tell yourself you're a loveable person and that nothing's going on.
And finally, to deal with your jealous nature:
Seek reassurance. Make sure you don't nag or bully, but share your insecurities with your partner and ask them to help you overcome the problem.
If you'd like to go further, check out the book "Romantic Jealousy: Causes, Symptoms, Cures" by Ayala M. Pines.
I'll post a link at Tesh .com.
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