Changing careers can be hazardous to your relationship! That’s the word from family law attorney, Lynn Gold. She says one of the most common reasons couples split-up is because one or both partners have a career change, and that’s becoming more common these days, as the recent recession has forced many people to switch jobs in order to stay employed.
Some of the reasons a new job spells doom for couples may sound obvious. For example: If there’s a change in income, you might feel stressed about paying bills. Or you might struggle with ego, if a new job isn’t as prestigious as your old one. Our expert says one of the most surprising reasons a career change is bad for relationships has to do with your schedule. Think about it: If you’ve been working days before, and then you suddenly take a night job, one of two things will happen. Either you and your spouse will never see each other or you’ll spend so much time together that you’ll discover you don’t like each other. Believe it or not, family attorney Gold says that happens all the time among her clients, especially when a spouse retires. So what are some red flags that a career change is having a negative effect on your relationship?
- First: You feel resentment – maybe a husband would resent his wife because she’s now more successful than he is or the wife could resent having to be the “breadwinner” and support her husband.
- Another red flag: Your role in your relationship has changed – maybe you were a CEO and now you’re a stay-at-home Dad, and it’s caused you to lose confidence.
If a career change causes you to have any of these thoughts, you and your partner need to talk about it immediately. Otherwise, the start of a new career might mean the end of your relationship.