No one likes to think about divorce or that their relationship won’t necessarily last forever, but it’s a sad fact of life. So, here are a few signs that your relationship may not be rock solid.

  • The first sign: You’ve “uncoupled.” Dr. Elayne Savage is the author of Breathing Room: Creating Space to Be a Couple. She says that when the end is near, couples tend to disconnect from each other. The signs: not spending time together, and being relieved about it.
  • The next sign your marriage won’t last: Your issues go unresolved. Dr. Alisa Bowman is the author of Project: Happily Ever After. She says that there’s a definite problem when one spouse repeatedly asks for help with an issue – say, improving communication – and the other spouse refuses to work toward solving it. In fact, the more time that passes with no effort being made toward a resolution, the higher the odds are that you’ll break up.
  • Another bad sign for couples: One partner isn’t trying. No matter how badly you want your relationship to last, you can’t do it alone. Your spouse has to want it, too.
  • Another sign that your marriage may be over: There’s no respect. Mutual respect is one of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage, and when one of you consistently feels dismissed or rejected, you’re in a bad place and headed toward a toxic relationship where you’re not civil to each other, and every discussion involves attacking or defending.
  • Also: You’re not a team. In healthy relationships, couples work as a team on everything from parenting to supporting each other’s career goals. However, if you’ve started moving in completely separate orbits – with separate friends and interests – or you’re not working together on day-to-day issues, that’s a sign of serious trouble.
  • The final red flag for your marriage: You’re not communicating. If you’ve reached the point where you only talk about mundane things like who’s buying the milk – and not what’s bothering you – your relationship is in trouble.