This year, 2-and-a-half MILLION couples will get married in North America. Many more will call off their wedding long before they say: “I do.” So are all these broken engagements good decisions, or are they simply a matter of cold feet? That’s the question posed to family therapist Dr. Patricia Allen, who wrote the book: Getting To I Do.
- She says the best reason for engaged couples to call it quits is: They’re not really in love. Allen believes lots of people get married for the convenience or because they feel peer pressure from friends and family, who make getting hitched seem like “the thing to do.” However, that’ll only set you up for the future legal nightmare of divorce. So if the emotional connection isn’t there, you’re smart to call off your wedding NOW.
- Another reason couples call it quits: The fear of commitment. Allen says it’s naïve to think you’ll go the rest of your life without being attracted to another man or woman. A ring on your finger won’t stop you from finding someone “good-looking.” However, if you still feel the need to ACT on your attraction, at the expense of your commitment, you’re better off staying single.
- The third reason people break off an engagement is: Religious differences. Many couples get engaged believing their love will conquer all obstacles. Once the wedding planning begins, they realize they can’t agree on a church or synagogue in which to hold the ceremony! Or they argue about which religion to raise their future children. Allen says, settle your faith issues before you settle on your vows.
- The last reason why couples call it quits: They idealize marriage too much. In other words, some people believe relationships work just like a fairy tale – where once you’re married, you’ll both live happily ever after! If their fiancée doesn’t live up to those lofty standards, they think the relationship is doomed. Allen believes that’s a bad reason to say “I DON’T” because no one person will ever be able to fulfill your every need. So if your fiancée fills your most important needs, don’t be so quick to call it quits!